A Guide To Internet Slang

It's a cat.

The interweb’s a big place and it can be easy to get behind on what the “hip” word or phrase is. Which is why I have created this guide, for you, because that’s the kind of guy I am. No longer will you belittled by a 12 year old Asian kid who can insult you without you even realising it because he is hiding behind his tech speech. No, with this guide to can stand and say “FU, u n00b fag.”

Noob
A “noob” or “n00b” is an inexperienced player or internet user. A noob is hated among any community. A noob knows very little about the game and refuses to learn, they expect other players to do everything for them.

Do not try to argue with a noob as they anger easily and are very territorial. They believe they are the best at what in fact they are the worst at.

Sound the alarm!

Noob try to stay in packs but this can result in them fighting among one another (see “Fail.”)
It is generally advised that noobs be taken out of the gene pool.

Variations appear in different games. For example in Garrys Mod a noob is known as a “mingebag” as the default name for a new player is “mingebag”.

The term “noob” is becoming increasingly used in certain teenage cultures as a form of insult. (See “YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG”.)

Newb
Different from a noob in that a newb, whilst being new to the game/forum, is willing to learn and will communicate in a well spoken manner.

First
A word that is used when you are the first to post on an article or video. A sought after position. People will treat you with the upmost respect if you achieve the prized first position.
Hint: when checking to see if anyone has already said “first,” the best place to look is the first comment.
E.g. “There are no comments yet.”
Posts: First.

Troll
A troll is one who deliberately posts controversial or provocative message on a topic or in a comments section.
E.g. On a youtube Michael Jackson tribute video.
“Michael Jackson is a fag.”
Somebody who responds to the trolls with anger or annoyance is said to have been “trolled”. And can often lead to further annoyance when people point this out. (See butthurt)
While it may seem appropriate to flame a troll (see below) it is important that you ignore him, as an angry comment is exactly what the troll wants because he is in it for the lulz (See: “Lol”)
Hint: Do not feed the trolls.

Flame
“Flame” is a term used to describe an insult said over the internet (or anything electronic). A person who repeatedly argues like this can be known as a “flamer.” And a large scale argument on a forum will be known as a “flame war.”

Lol (Lul, lols, megalols, etc)
Laugh out loud. That comment was so funny that I am in fact laughing out loud. Feel free to use this even though it probably isn’t true. You probably just smirked a bit.

Rofl

Roflcopter

Rolling on floor laughing. That comment was so witty and brilliant that I have proceeded to roll around on the floor laughing. Feel free to use this even though it is very unlikely to be true.
Lmao
Laughing my ass off. That comment was so funny that my rectum has proceeded to explode.

Brb
Be right back. I am leaving my computer and feel inclined to inform you that I will be right back. Can be used for a maximum of 30 minutes.

Afk
Away from keyboard. I am not at my computer, I am away from my keyboard and so I will not be typing. Can be left in your username to indicate you are not there. Should be used if you will be away from longer than 30 minutes.

Teh
A corruption of the word “the”.
E.g. Teh internets is cool. Or. Teh dog pissed on me.
It is now mostly used in an ironic way but it has been used so much that is became unfunny about last Thursday.

Pron
A corruption of the word “porn”. Often used to avoid automatic word filters but is so widely known that it stopped working at least 100 years ago.

NSFW
Not safe for work. The following link will lead to material that is not safe for the workplace as it will contain nudity. Probably goatse (See “pron”).
E.g. This link is NSFW.

OMG
Oh my god. That sentence/video is so shocking that I generally can’t believe it. OMGWTFBBQ.

ZOMG
A variation of “omg”. Used mainly by geeks but is finding its way into normal social circles. Incurs sarcasm as to the level of disbelief.
E.g. ZOMG does this film rule? By which I mean no.

TLDR (tl;dr)
Too long, didn’t read. That comment was so long that I in fact didn’t read it.

Win
Win generally indicates that something is great.
E.g. This picture=win.
A winner is you.
This can be further emphasised by adding epic in front.
E.g. This thread=epic win.
You can also capitalise these words for a much greater affect. Although this is generally ill advised as it is associated with noob behaviour.

Fail

Cat Win

When something is so bad that it “fails”. Often used when some attempt at humour happens and “fails”. Has found its way into main stream social circles…unfortunately.
Can also be emphasised by the word epic.

FTW
For the win.
E.g. I like ducks. Yeah ducks for the win.
Can also mean full of win in some cases
E.g. This thread is so good that it is full of win. (see win)

FTL
For the loss. The opposite of for the win.

FU
Fuck you.
Often used in response to being “rickroll’d”
Overdraw the “U” to add extra anger.
E.g. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Fag/Your a fag
Whilst not strictly internet slang, it is important none the less. The reason for this is because it is the most widely used insult on the whole of the “internetz”. Most often in a “flame war” (see flame). Because when you can’t form a solid and witty argument (see fail) then you must question the person’s sexuality.
“Your a fag” even works on female, which doesn’t even make sense. That’s how powerful this insult is.
Note the missing apostrophe, that’s intentional, this insult doesn’t need correct grammar.
The only possible come back to this insult is to say:
“No, your a fag!”

Imo
In my opinion. This is my opinion, and nobody else’s. I would like to express my opinion. Often used by people who have something to say that nobody cares about.
E.g. Imo your a fag.

Own
To be owned is an act of humiliation. It derives from videogames where you completely obliterated an opponent, you are said to have “ownd them”.

Pwn
A variation of the word own. Originated back in the days of warcraft when a map designer accidently misspelt owned as pwned. Which is fair enough because the two letters are next to each other, give the guy a break.

1337
Back in the days of dial up 1337 or “leet”, which comes from the word “elite”, used to mean to be an incredible gamer. But now it is more commonly used to describe the language used by a small community of people. Here is an example of 1337 speak:
20|\/|9, 7|-|1$ \/1Ð30 $µ(|{0®$.

Not to be confused with “chav speak” or “text talk”. (See below).

Text talk
This is the language used by most characters with little intelligence.
E.g. i (L)d it but evry1 startd sayin tht i cut maself n evrythng wen it woz ma falt!! so i aint nomor! but it woz wkd!!
Yes, I don’t know what that said either. I just copied and pasted it off somebody’s facebook who I shall keep anonymous. This kind of speak is used so only those of similar intelligence can read it.
This language can be easily mimicked by repeatedly smashing your face into the keyboard.

So now you’ve read the guide you should be ready to venture out into the scary world of the internet. Go forth child! With the growing rate of these words implementation into society then you shall be able to survive off the knowledge into this guide. But this is just a basic introduction into the world of the internet. There is much more you shall learn whilst out there. Be careful.

Jesus ownage.