My Experience With World of Warcraft
I recently stopped playing Warcraft for many reasons. Lets start at the beginning. I chose to become a dwarf paladin, I wanted to be a gnome but I couldn’t be both a gnome and a paladin, and I really wanted to be a paladin so I settled for the next smallest thing and gave him a massive beard and called him Fuggle. And I was off, a new dwarf with my common shirt and common boots, the works, and I was thrown into a wasteland of ice. I started to speak to the few people who were around to try to get some quests, and so I completed about 100 quests and at this point I was level 20. Ok bit of an exaggeration, it was probably less quests than that. So this must have been about 6 to 7 hours of my life levelling up a character.
Now to me, the great gamer I am, this time is nothing, I’ve spent at least 40 hours playing Oblivion, but the thing is with Oblivion, sooner or later, I am going to finish every quest, find every item, level myself to the max and kill everything in sight, including the annoying fan numerous times. However with World of Warcraft, there is no end, there will always be quests, and with the new expansion that has recently came out, there will be even more! Plus the level cap has now been raised to give people more reason to play…and pay to play of course.
So what I did in warcraft after I got bored with the endless repetitive quests was to start making as much gold as possible. Of course, with anything in warcraft this took many weeks to acquire what was a decent amount of gold for my level and for any level up to about 40. So there I went, after learning my mining and smelting skills which cost me gold in themselves, and I set out across the baron ice lands and into brand new worlds!
Of course I wasn’t high enough level to be there and i promptly died. And so I went! across the plains as a ghost of my former self because I didn’t want the xp deduction. Nobody wants the xp deduction. Well after another massive hike of what seemed to be an hour (by that point it was so late I had lost track of all time) I found my body, after respawning, I promptly died again. But I did manage to make a small bit of progress back towards safe land, so after finding my dead body several more times I finally managed to get back into the noobish zones of the ice lands. After deciding it was way too dangerous to leave the safety of the level 1 zone I decided to start mining there. After many hours of waiting for the copper to respawn and a fierce battle with another dwarf about who would get the next set of copper ore (I took his turn and legged it, it wasn’t a PVP server, he had nothing on me) I finally had 20 copper ore! Hurray! So after I initially set off 6 hours ago I arrived back in the dwarf city a famed hero well I say that, I just told a guy I had 20 copper ore to which he replied, and I quote “stfu noob”. I could see his point, I did still have pretty rubbish stuff by this point. But all that was about to change as I legged it to the other side of the city to smelt my ore into bars! I could sell these for 6 gold a piece! I had struck oil! I was about to rise from the ashes and join the ranks of the 1337.
But it didn’t quite go as planned.
Sure I got it on auction, and sure they sold. But then what, I had my gold, what could I do with it. I thought about buying a mount. After spending hours and hours just to walk somewhere gets a bit tiring so some extra speed would help! So I went to speak to the mount rider.
“Sorry, you can’t buy a mount until you are level 30″
“Oh” I said to myself.
“Now what” I asked the man. Of course he didn’t respond he was only a NPC, so after telling him he was the rudest person I had met on here (excluding the people who didn’t let me join they’re clan because it was for humans only…racists) and I left. So now what, I couldn’t buy a mount, I was too weak to kill anything and I had shit loads of gold to spend of absolutely nothing. So of course, I seeked out guidance from a higher level. I hung around the city looking for somebody approachable, I learned a lot about life from doing this, people were talking, trading, others had transformed into tigers and were getting paid to sit on a mans face whilst he typed in oo’s and ahh’s. I stood and watched for a while whilst deciding if me watching was more weird than the act itself and wondering whether I had to pay them or not. I thought it was best not to approach these people. After a good long while of watching different people being sat on I decided to talk to my good friend and excellent warcraft player Phil. I convinced him to let me tag along with him on a journey through “the dead mines” with him and his brother and friend of mine Neal. After a good hour battling through these vicious dead mines, well I myself wasn’t battling, I was hanging at the back whilst Neal protected me and Phil killed everything in sight with his character that looked a bit like Kirby if you dressed her in black and gave her a sword. Well after we had finished and I had graciously accepted a few items off of Phil and Neal I decided to say thank you and go to bed. It was midnight by this point.
When I came back online the next morning I checked all the items I had managed to take during this raid. I had a lot, and a lot of stuff I couldn’t even use until I was higher level. But then there was this hammer, and how I loved this hammer. I equipped it straight away and got rid of my old noob axe! Now I was truly about to join the ranks of the 1337, I could feel it! I ran around the city showing off my brand new hammer to anybody who would look, of course I had to trick them into looking by telling them I was going to give them a free legendary weapon! But instead, I showed them my hammer, now this probably wasn’t the best idea as after saying they were going to see a legendary weapon my hammer probably looked like something I got out of a skip (if there are skips in warcraft, I’d like to think there are, what else would they do with all their rubbish?) but all the same it was my hammer, and I owned it! I decided to test my hammer out in the lands outside the level 1 zone. I decided with my new hammer I would be a new Leroy Jenkins and I jumped into battle with a level 30 spider!
To which I promptly died.
After many a more hours of slowly crawling back to safety (nobody wants the xp deduction) I found myself looking at the hammer in a different view. While I was completely gracious that I had received it, it wasn’t the cool level 70 killing hammer I first thought it was. I decided I would try to fob it off to a higher level in a hope they would trade me something better for it. They didn’t. Instead I was constantly being challenged to “duel” them to which I declined as I knew that if my hammer didn’t beat a level 30 spider what could it do against a level 70 human warrior? After trying to explain to these people that I wasn’t a noob, or a fag, or any of the other abuse thrown at me, I quickly ran away with my hammer still equipped.
What could I do now? I couldn’t get a mount, it would take me many more hours to level up to that point. Many an hours of “farming” wolves and other animals that couldn’t put up much of a fight so I could buy something to ride around on. But then what, after I buy my mount, then what? Well I could level up some more and buy a faster mount and eventually a flying one! But this would take me a year, and that a years worth of my real money feeding this addiction.
So the question I was meaning to put in right at the top of this warcraft epic story is this:
What is the point of world of warcraft?
It has no end, no real beginning and no real story. What do I do apart from roam around hoping nobody secretly sits on my face and charges for it. What do I do?
I decided the only real point to warcraft to make you character bigger and better than anybody else, so when you do finally hit that level 80 status you can look down on people (well up in my case, I was a dwarf) and say
“I’m a level 80 dwarf paladin with a weapon that could kill you just by looking at it, what are you, you’re nothing but a lowly level 4 human warrior, the most typical class ever. I am better than you. I have risen from the ashes, I may have spent a year doing so, but I am now finally in the ranks of the 1337. I am in all means a god.”
At least that’s what I think I would say, but in all truth I would probably just say
“Fuck you, noob fag!”
